Changes
by wynnebat
Summary: Draco's changed since the war; he just has to prove it.


"You haven't changed at all since the war," Granger said just a few minutes earlier, barely looking at him. Not out of shyness, but out of indifference and spite. He hates that—hates that she can ignore him like he's still a schoolboy, like the war hasn't changed him as much as it changed her.

Draco had answered cuttingly and walked away, but later he can't help think, _what if he hasn't? _What if he hasn't changed at all, hasn't grown stronger from experience? What if he's still the same young kid, who'll make the same bad decisions?

He wants to get along with Granger for once. They've apprenticed under the same senior lawyer and even though they're going to go into different fields (criminal law for him and magical creature law for her) later on, they're stuck with each other eight hours a day.

But more than proving Granger wrong, he wants to prove to himself that he's changed. He thinks he has, but what if he's been deluding himself all along? He's good at self-delusion, at pretending everything's fine when it's really not.

It takes him a minute to realize what he could do and three hours to work up his courage to do it. The first time he used an Unforgivable haunts his nightmares sometimes, and he's never been able to make reparations for it. But eventually, he Apparates to Hogsmeade, right outside the joke shop. He almost Disapparates once he sees the sign for the Three Broomsticks, but he forces himself to go inside.

When he finally enters, it's three o'clock in the afternoon and the pub's almost empty. He'd thought the lack of people might help his courage, but apparently that isn't to be. He's nervous. Less than he'd been the last time he was here, but nervous all the same. This time, the nervousness is overwhelmed by guilt and he slowly walks to the counter. Once again he reminds himself that he's doing the right thing.

He should've done this ages ago. That doesn't make it any easier.

"One moment!" Madam Rosmerta sings. She's turned away, wiping a glass. Draco doesn't speak until she puts it down, lest she drops and breaks it. He doesn't want to do even more damage to her. Finally, she turns around and sees him. Her expression changes abruptly; gone is the kind smile and flirty attitude.

"I'm not here for a drink," Draco says. "I—"

"Then you should get out." Her tone is cold, not welcoming like the one to all the other Hogwarts graduates. Of course, none of the others used an Unforgivable Curse on her. Draco's still grateful that the Wizengamot declared his acts during the war as under duress.

"I want to apologize," he says.

"Accepted. Now get out."

Draco wants to leave so much. Instead, he takes a deep breath and clenches his fists. "I was wrong. I was so wrong to harm you. It was despicable and cruel of me." Breathe, he tells himself. "I've made many mistakes over my short life—as you have no Dark Mark, we can assume I've been more of an idiot that you—" maybe it's his imagination, but maybe her shoulders really do ease "but I made them. I've made so many of them, and now I'm trying to make amends. I can't do much for you—you're popular, successful, attractive—you wouldn't want me or my money here anyway, but I... I'm sorry. I really am."

She turns around, finally. There's still no smile, but maybe the beginning of one in the tiniest curl of her lips.

"A butterbeer," she says, handing him one. "You'll pay for it. And you'll come here whenever you're in Hogsmeade. I won't give customers to the Hog's Head just because they were stupid teenagers. I'd be out of customers if that were the case." She winks at him, and looks almost surprised at her good humor. But it's been a few years now, and they can both let go of the past.

"I'll get a butterbeer for your girlfriend, too," Madam Rosmerta tells him a moment later.

When Draco turns around and sees Granger sitting down beside him, an approving half-smile on her lips, he doesn't bother correcting Madam Rosmerta. For the first time in his life, he thinks he wouldn't mind dating Granger if she ever gives him a sign. He wouldn't mind at all, because she makes him want to be a better person.

* * *

Happy birthday, TardisBangBangDaleksBoom! Hope you don't mind that this wasn't too romantic :)


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